Project	chosen belonging irt choosing to belong

	Being merely social with some persons can be as genuine as being friends with others. gary e. davis	December 5, 2024

More superficially (or ordinarily), interpersonal relations can be usefully distin- guished as two kinds: relational engagements (premised on belonging together) and managed relations (premised on instrumental purpose). Relational engage- ments lead to richer engagement. Managed relations, as such, don’t lead to more purposes—except inasmuch as a given relational engagment prevails, e.g., each person identifies with membership in the same organization (a solidarity or “thin” belonging together). Relational engagements are, ideally, selfidentical giving of oneself, felt, em- bodied, interal, oriented by shared values. Managed relations are instrumental, relative to given purposes. Belonging in friendship includes instrumental managing of situations between “us,” of course. Conversely, managing relations in a social atmosphere sometimes or somewhat includes belonging interpersonally within that. Happy families are full of shared tasks. Happy intimacies are full of negotiations. Easily being casual is instrumental to a life oriented by holistic appreciation of person-al being (¶ 15 here). Inauthentically “good, reasonable” persons (they say) deserve fair dealing. But wishing to minimize relations, beyond solidarities and shared purposes, is fair, too. Politely recommending resources for better living (or/and therapeutic enlightenment) is also fair.

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Be fair. © 2024, gary e. davis